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We admit our lives have been unmanageable, but sometimes we have a problem
admitting our need for help. Our own self-will leads to many problems in our
recovery; we want and demand that things go our way. We should know from our
past experience that our way of doing things did not work. The principle of
surrender guides us into a way of life in which we draw our strength from a
Power greater than ourselves. Our daily surrender to our Higher Power provides
the help we need. As addicts we have trouble with acceptance which is critical
to our recovery. When we refuse to practice acceptance, we are, in effect,
still denying our faith in a Higher Power. Worrying is the practice of lack of
faith.
Surrendering our will puts us in contact with a Higher Power which fills the
empty place inside that nothing could ever fill before. We learned to trust God
for help daily. Living just for today relieves the burden of the past and the
fear of the future. We learned to take whatever actions are necessary and leave
the results in the hands of our Higher Power.
The Narcotics Anonymous program is spiritual. We strongly suggest that each
person make an attempt to find a Higher Power of their understanding. Some of
us have profound spiritual experiences, dramatic and inspirational in nature.
For others, the awakening is more subtle. We recover in an atmosphere of
acceptance and respect for one another's beliefs. We try to avoid the
self-deception of arrogance and self-righteousness. As we develop faith in our
daily lives, we find that our Higher Power supplies us with the strength and
guidance we need.
Each of us is free to work out our own concept of a Higher Power. Many of us
were suspicious and skeptical because of disappointments we have had with
religion. As new members, the talk of God we heard in meetings repelled us.
Until we sought our own answers in this area, we were trapped in the ideas
gathered from our past. Agnostics and atheists sometimes start out by just
talking to "whatever's there". There is a spirit or an energy that
can be felt in the meetings. This is sometimes the newcomer's first concept of
a Higher Power. Ideas from the past are often incomplete and unsatisfactory.
Everything we know is subject to revision, especially what we know about the
truth. We reevaluate our old ideas, so we can become acquainted with the new
ideas that lead to a new way of life. We recognize we are human with a
physical, mental and spiritual sickness. When we accept that our addiction
caused our own hell and that there is a power available to help us, we begin to
make progress in solving our problems.
Lack of daily maintenance can show up in many ways. Through open-minded effort
we come to rely on a daily relationship with God as we understand Him. Each day
most of us ask our Higher Power to help us stay clean, and each night we give
thanks for the gift of recovery. As our lives become more comfortable, many of
us lapse into spiritual complacency, and risking relapse, we find ourselves in
the same horror and loss of purpose from which we have been given only a daily
reprieve. This is hopefully when our pain motivates us to renew our daily
spiritual maintenance. One way we can continue a conscious contact, especially
in hard times, is to list the things for which we are grateful.
Many of us have found that setting aside quiet time for ourselves is helpful in
making conscious contact with our Higher Power. By quieting of the mind,
meditation can lead us to calmness and serenity. This quieting of the mind can
be done in any place, time, or manner according to the individual.
Our Higher Power is accessible to us at all times. We receive guidance when we
ask for knowledge of God's will for us. Gradually as we become more
God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope. Change also
involves the great source of fear-the unknown. Our Higher Power is our source
of the courage we need to face this fear.
Some things we must accept, and others we can change. The wisdom to know the
difference comes with growth in our spiritual program. If we maintain our
spiritual condition daily, we find the pain and confusion easier to deal with.
This is the emotional stability that we so badly need. With the help of our
Higher Power, we never have to use again.
Any addict clean is a miracle. We keep this miracle alive in ongoing recovery
with positive attitudes. If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in
trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the
things which helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery.
Three basic spiritual principles are Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness
to try. We say these are the HOW of our program. The initial honesty that we
express is the desire to stop using. Next we honestly admit our powerlessness
and the unmanageability of our lives.
Rigorous honesty is the most important tool we have in learning to live for
today. Although honesty is difficult to practice, it is most rewarding. Honesty
is the antidote to our diseased thinking. Our newly found faith serves as a
firm foundation for courage in the future.
What we knew about living when we got here had almost killed us. Managing our
own lives got us to the program of Narcotics Anonymous. We came in, knowing
very little about how to be happy and enjoy life. A new idea cannot be grafted
onto a closed mind. Being open-minded allows us to hear something that might
save our lives. It allows us to listen to opposing points of view, and come to
conclusions of our own. Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have
eluded us during our lives. It is this principle that allows us to participate
in a discussion without jumping to conclusions or predetermining right and
wrong. We no longer need to make fools of ourselves by standing up for
nonexistent virtues. We have learned that it is O.K. to not know all the
answers, for then we are teachable and can learn to live our new life
successfully.
Open-mindedness without willingness, however, will get us nowhere. We must be
willing to do whatever is necessary to recover. We never know when the time
will come when we must put forth all the effort and strength we have just to
stay clean.
Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness to try, work hand-in-hand. The lack of
one of these principles in our personal program can lead to relapse, and will
certainly make recovery difficult and painful when it could be simple. This
program is a vital part of our everyday living. If it were not for this program
most of us would be dead or institutionalized. Our viewpoint changes from that
of a loner to that of a member. We emphasize setting our house in order because
it brings us relief. We trust in our Higher Power for the strength to meet our
needs.
One way to practice the principles of HOW is by taking a daily inventory. Our
inventory allows us to recognize our daily growth. We shouldn't forget about
our assets in striving to eliminate our defects. The old self-deception and
self-centeredness can be replaced with spiritual principles.
Staying clean is the first step in facing life. When we practice acceptance,
our lives are simplified. When problems arise, we hope to be well equipped with
the tools of the program. We honestly have to surrender our own
self-centeredness and self-destructiveness. In the past we believed desperation
would give us the strength to survive. Now we accept responsibility for our
problems and see that we're equally responsible for our solutions.
As recovering addicts, we have a lot to be grateful for. As our defects are
removed, we are free to become all we can. We emerge as new individuals with an
awareness of ourselves and the ability to take our places in the world.
In living the steps, we begin to let go of our self-obsession. We ask a Higher
Power to remove our fear of facing ourselves and life. We redefine ourselves by
working the steps and using the tools of recovery. We see ourselves
differently. Our personalities change. We become feeling people, capable of
responding appropriately to life. We put spiritual living first and learn to
use patience, tolerance and humility in our daily affairs.
Other people in our lives help us develop trust and loving attitudes; we demand
less and give more. We anger more slowly and forgive more easily. We learn
about love from members of Narcotics Anonymous. Through the love we receive in
our fellowship we begin to feel lovable ourselves, a feeling totally alien to
our old egocentric selves.
Ego used to control us in all sorts of subtle ways. Anger is our reaction to
our present reality. Resentments are reliving of past experiences again and
again in our minds, and fear is our response to the future. We need to become
willing to let God remove these defects that burden our spiritual growth.
New ideas are available to us through the sharing of our living experience.
Rigorously practicing the few simple guidelines in this chapter, we recover
daily. The principles of the program shape our personalities.
From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with the
common bond of recovery. N.A. is like a lifeboat in a sea of isolation,
hopelessness and destructive chaos. Our faith, strength and hope come from
people sharing their recovery and from our relationship with the God of our own
understanding. At first it feels awkward to share our feelings. Part of the
pain of addiction is being cut off from this sharing experience. If we find
ourselves in a bad place or we sense trouble coming, we call someone or get to
a meeting. We learn to seek help before making difficult decisions. By humbling
ourselves and asking for help, we can get through the toughest of times. I
can't, we can! In this way we find the strength we need when we need it the
most. We form a mutual bond as we share our spiritual and mental resources.
Sharing in regularly scheduled meetings and one-on-one with recovering addicts
helps us to stay clean. Attending meetings reminds us what it is like to be new
and of the progressive nature of our disease. Attending our home group provides
encouragement from the people we get to know. This sustains our recovery and
helps us in our daily living. When we honestly tell our own story, someone else
may identify with us. Serving the needs of our members and making our message
available gives us a feeling of joy. Service gives us opportunities to grow in
ways which touch all parts of our lives. Our experience in recovery may help
them deal with their problems-what worked for us might work for them. Most
addicts are able to accept this type of sharing, even from the very beginning.
The get-togethers after our meetings are good opportunities to share things we
didn't get to discuss during the meeting. This is also a good time to talk
one-on-one with our sponsors. Things we need to hear will surface and become
clearer to us.
By sharing the experience of our recovery with newcomers, we help ourselves to
stay clean. We share comfort and encouragement with others. Today we have
people in our lives who stand with us. Getting away from our self-centeredness
gives us a better perspective on life. By asking for help, we can change.
Sharing is risky at times, but by becoming vulnerable we are able to grow.
Some will come to Narcotics Anonymous still trying to use people to help them
continue their habit. Their closed mind is a barrier against change. A spirit
of open-mindedness, coupled with an admission of powerlessness, is a key that
will unlock the door to recovery. If someone with a drug problem comes to us
seeking recovery and is willing to try, we gladly share with them how we stay
clean.
We develop self-esteem as we help others find a new way of life. When we
honestly evaluate what we have, we can learn to appreciate it. We begin to feel
worthwhile being members of N.A. We can carry the gifts of recovery with us
everywhere. The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous are a progressive recovery
process established in our daily living. Ongoing recovery is dependent on our
relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find
impossible to do for ourselves.
During our recovery, each of us comes to our own understanding of the program.
If we have difficulties, we trust our groups, our sponsors and our Higher Power
to guide us. Thus, recovery, as found in Narcotics Anonymous, comes both from
within and without.
We live a day at a time but also from moment to moment. When we stop living in
the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably. Patience isn't a
strong point with us. That's why we need our slogans and our N.A. friends to
remind us to live the program just for today.
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